In
a widely anticipated statement the Blair government
has admitted that fine art is now more popular
than commiting suicide.
'Oh yes,' Mr Julian Foulds said when questioned,
'We have suspected for a while now that some people
are taking up painting instead of killing themselves,
but this proves it. We are very pleased.'
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It
has been announced that next year's big brother
will last for 300 years, with an eviction every
deacde. 'This way we hope to really get under
the skin of a collection of wannabee families
for several generations.' Children born in the
house will be eligible for eviction on their twentieth
birthday, whilst viewers are able to vote to decide
who will have to sleep on the bed of nails and
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Shocking
new evidence has come to light of children, some
as young as three, being sold cigarettes in their
nurseries. Already there have been seven arrests
of four-years, one known only as Master Big -
was caught in a sting at more
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